I am learning that self-care is not a one-and-done achievement. I practiced it so well while healing. Digging deep and finding out what I needed during that time was key to my success, and it made me feel whole, in charge, and strong.
I discovered recently that I had let that practice slide from the forefront, no longer actively seeking ways to feed the soul, rather, I was going through the motions I created during those healing years. I can tell you beyond the shadow of a doubt that those methods while good, do not foster continued growth.
Yes, everything I did got me to
places I never dreamed possible, but that does not mean that my evolution should stop there, and stagnate. In truth, I took an unconscious break. Now breaks are not a bad thing, they are quite nec
essary, in fact. The trouble is, I allowed self-doubt to creep in during that break. Rather than just dropping everything, shifting my focus would have been the better practice. But who was I to know this? We are our worst critics, in truth, and I am no slouch in that area, oh no, I am very good at this. It appears that I still have work to do when it comes to feeding myself properly of body and soul.
I still feed myself properly as far as food goes. I have settled well into my whole foods philosophy which suits my body well. Since healing, I have allowed myself some indulgences which I enjoy, but finding the balance of "how often" to have those indulgences is something I am still pondering. I do know immediately when I have gone overboard. Something I don't want to do is go overboard in either direction, and I am still working on where I want to land with this. This turns out to be more of an emotional area rather than a physical one. If I indulge too often I will berate myself and feel myself standing at the precipice of that old depression I felt when I was overweight and sick. This is a dangerous space to be in, as I was stuck in a cycle back in those days unable to lose weight because I would in essence, punish myself by eating more (can anybody relate?) rather than getting my diet under control. I recognize this now, but it is definitely an area that I know I have to find creative ways to overcome. I am not done yet, no, not at all.
How I am dealing with this is by re-activating my self-care routine in a new way, and getting back in the groove of building the best version of myself. I came across a book and journal called "The Artist's Way - A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity" written by Julia Cameron some 30 years ago. The blurb reads The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity is a 1992 self-help book by American author Julia Cameron. The book was written to help people with artistic creative recovery, which teaches techniques and exercises to assist people in gaining self-confidence in harnessing their creative talents and skills.
I perhaps should have read this book in 1992! But here I am now with the book and journal and I have signed a contract to myself to give it the twelve weeks it asks for. I started yesterday doubting that I could write the three pages required and would have nothing at all to say. Guess what, I had lots to say! So here we go, doing the work because it is important. We are important. I'm not saying run out and get this course, what I AM saying is find out what it is YOU need to get and stay on track.
And here also is a reminder mostly for me of how far I have come physically, not only the outer change but the inner changes that still require my care.
Love, Sue
#healprydeliver #self-care
