Giving Thanks and Unexpected Blessings

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Something that has struck me especially deeply this year is the art of living every moment. Being present, mindful, aware…senses and heart open, observing, listening, sharing, relating.

I’ve always kind of been this way, but the change in depth is profound. Going through the motions and trying versus feeling it deep down inside is really an eye opener. They say that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. This does hold a lot of truth, but I also have found that struggles can make you crack open…and strength isn’t just a solid protective wall that is formed to shield you from future harm, it can also be a higher awareness that gives you alternate perspectives on how to swerve or be prepared to handle a multitude of future challenges with more resources in your tool cart.

Besides the health aspect which is obviously high on the list for me, it’s the human connections that are endlessly more important. I think the changes in lifestyle are a part of this, along with the awareness of the path that I was on and how different things could be had I not made the lifestyle changes plays a big roll in this awareness. Also being present 24/7 without the alterations that alcohol make even just a little bit is huge.

This Thanksgiving was spent with my California family. a story for another time, but suffice it to say that I was adopted at birth and we reunited in my early 30’s so we’ve grown to know and love each other in the past 26 years. This year has been a year of loss for them and for us, a wonderful brother in law and my birth mother herself having passed in the last few months. So we travelled to be with them this year and it was a wonderful yet emotional time. Seeing them all and sharing how we were feeling and being together was very cathartic.

It was the first time since their passing that we had travelled into the foothills of Southern California. The closer we got to the familiar highways and exits I could feel their presence, a heavy sadness, for me and for what they all had experienced. What the holidays will be like…making it through without these important people. I like to think I could feel them really with me in spirit as we approached because with the sadness came a feeling of warmth like a soft hug coming from within. I know they were there.

Anyway, my real point is we had a whirlwind 24 hour visit but I am so grateful to have those little moments of connection to each person in whatever way worked for each. a deeper awareness of where each person may be and what they felt. And to appreciate even more, the gift it is to share in all moments, happiness and sadness blended. And this year has brought that awareness to new heights.

This is where I want my healing to focus. The mental side which I think is even equally as important as the physical care.

To allow the feelings of awkward shyness, acknowledge this and still not hold back…to try to get better at not being afraid to be open and giving to others, and to be able to receive openly what others offer.

There is so much more in my heart but I don’t actually know how to write it out so I’ll just say this is a profound unexpected blessing to the changes this year has brought. Life finds ways to grow in unexpected places

Love, Sue

#healprydeliver #cirrhosis #selfgrowth